Everywhere I go lately, I inevitably run into some grinning character who asks me the question, “Are you ready for winter?” What kind of question is that? I don’t care if it is an ancient Alaskan ritual. It’s primitive and degrading! The way the ritual works is that it must be performed upon every victim you can corner, beginning with the first snowfall, and continuing until somebody cold cocks you.
Why would you even want to ask somebody a sensitive personal question like that? That’s like saying, “So, have you ever declared bankruptcy?” Or, “Do you wear Depends?” Or, “Would you like me to recommend a good ugliatrician who can surgically implant a paper bag over your face?” Come-on, folks! I mean, there’s gloating, and then there’s gloating.
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