One of the ways to distinguish a true Alaskan from a cheechako is by examining the bed of their pickup. If they don’t have a pickup, check their hatchback or at least their glove compartment. An Alaskan’s vehicle will always carry evidence of their participation in the lifestyle of the Last Frontier, while a cheechako’s will carry evidence of their futile attempts to keep the Last Frontier at bay.
For instance, an Alaskan’s pickup bed might contain a scuffed ice chest plastered with fish scales; a double handful of spent shotgun shells imbedded in a chainsawdust and two-cycle oil glop; and a frayed black trash bag containing a Wiggy’s sleeping bag, a couple of MRE’s, a blue tarp and a bottle of Muskol. The non-Alaskan’s vehicle, on the other hand, will contain things like a GPS device, a Milepost travel guide, a coconut shell bikini, and an inflatable palm tree. It will also probably contain one of those worthless little travel first aid kits with 42 Band-Aids, a tube of insect bite lotion, and a foil packet of Midol.
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